Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Mark 16 -- a honkin' big stone

The best-documented fact of ancient history is the resurrection of Jesus from the dead. Unless, of course, you are a "positivist." Those are the sad folks who only believe in what can be seen, weighed, measured, or counted. "If you can't count it, it doesn't count" in their tiny strait-jacketed "cosmos." For most of the last few thousand years, believers have told unbelievers -- "There's something wrong with your head! You need to repent, and start thinking straight!" There was, however, a brief episode when some Christians tried to win a few rhetorical battles by first conceding the war: "Of course, we only believe in what is objectively measurable. But isn't it nice to pretend to believe in a personal God who cares for us? And doesn't Jesus have some nice things to say about how we should all just get along?

These "modernists" had to figure out what to do with the Resurrection, though. Some suggested a "swoon" theory: Jesus simply passed out on the cross, went comatose, entered a dormant state. Later, in the cool of the tomb he revived, pushed aside the rock, beat up four heavily armed Roman guards, and made a quick get-away on his pierced feet, pausing only to put a stitch in his side ...

Let's see what the eye witnesses had to say, around 1800 years before the modernists told them what "really" happened:
Mar 16:1 Şabat Günü geçince, Mecdelli Meryem, Yakup'un annesi Meryem ve Salome gidip İsa'nın cesedine sürmek üzere baharat satın aldılar.
Mar 16:2 Haftanın ilk günü sabah çok erkenden, güneşin doğuşuyla birlikte mezara gittiler.
Mar 16:3 Aralarında, "Mezarın girişindeki taşı bizim için kim yana yuvarlayacak?" diye konuşuyorlardı.
Mar 16:4 Başlarını kaldırıp bakınca, o kocaman taşın yana yuvarlanmış olduğunu gördüler.
Mar 16:5 Mezara girip sağ tarafta, beyaz kaftan giyinmiş genç bir adamın oturduğunu görünce çok şaşırdılar.
Mar 16:6 Adam onlara, "Şaşırmayın!" dedi. "Çarmıha gerilen Nasıralı İsa'yı arıyorsunuz. O dirildi, burada yok. İşte O'nu yatırdıkları yer.
Today's key word is kocaman . Let's look at the dictionary definition:
  • kocaman big. huge. enormous. giant. bulky. colossal. cyclopean. elephantine. fab. frightful. gargantuan. gigantean. gigantic. gross. hulking. hulky. jumbo-sized. mammoth. monster. prodigious. rousing. tearing. thumping. thundering. tremendous. walloping.
Well, Mr. Modernist: if you believe in a crucified guy who can roll away a gigantic sealed stone -- from the inside of his tomb -- your fairy tale is far stranger than the glad faith of all Christians[1] of all ages in a Jesus who rose from the dead by the miraculous power of God. Far stranger, and far sadder. And guess what -- those "smart people" you are trying to suck up to by discarding the core of your faith still hold you in contempt.


[1] People who deny the Resurrection by that unbelief remove themselves from the category of "Christian."

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